fake real estate ads

Wendy Winfield

Wendy Winfield.jpg

If you’re not charmed by the brick street our front, then just wait until you see the view of Sutro Tower from the adorable front porch. Located just steps from the bustle of Cortland Avenue, this home has two updated units that still retain their Victorian charm. Live in one and rent the other out? The city’s rental market is almost as absurd as its real estate market, so why not? Not sure if you’re qualified to be a landlord? Don’t worry—anyone can do it! Our very motivated seller will entertain any offer over 1.9 million.

Advertisements

Willy White

Willy White.jpg

If you’re looking for period details packed into a small space on a very steep incline, then look no further. Located in San Francisco’s extremely desirable Bernal Heights neighborhood, this two bedroom one bath home offers charm in lieu of square footage. Priced at a very affordable 1.2 million, you’re only a couple of mortgages away from living the dream.

Richmond Richie

Richie Rich.jpg

While the pros and cons of the color-scheme are still up for debate among the neighbors, Richie’s period charm, spacious bedrooms and tandem garage space are likely to change the tunes of even the most conservative buyers. Situated on the western edge of the city, you can count on lots of fog and long MUNI rides downtown. Bring your Clipper card and and a couple of mortgage bankers—the bidding starts at 2.6 million.

Grant of Grand Lake

Grant.jpg

Ever wished you could live inside a fairy tale? Now you can. This well-appointed stucco beauty sits on a half-acre lot filled with heathy foliage and fruit trees. When you’re not inside enjoying one of the five bedrooms and three and half baths, you’re free to invite 45 of your best friends over for a low-key porch party. This is one you simply have to see to believe. Starting price is a mere 3.5 million.

Beach Blanket Barb

 

Barb.jpg

With unobstructed beach views out front and lush shag carpet inside, you’re sure to get swept away by this retro charmer. Featuring well-preserved fixtures throughout and stone details that’ll take you back the Mad Men era, you get 950 square feet of pure rest and relaxation. Step inside and you’ll never want to leave your beachfront oasis.