bay area

Gingerbread Gina

Gina Gingerbread.jpgYou’ve heard of million-dollar views? Good. In this case, you’d better bring two. Perched between the Oakland Hills and the family-friendly excitement of Oakland’s Grand Ave, this Victorian charmer has everything you’ve been looking for—as long as you can pack it into 1100 square feet. This one won’t last long. Call your careless local lender today!

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Boxy Bernal Brothers

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Precariously perched near the peak of Bernal Hill, these simple structures have been in the neighborhood long enough to see at least one San Francisco bubble burst. While the bars on the window tell you things haven’t alway been Instagramable vistas and six-dollar lattes, both homes have been updated to match the Ikea decor that’s sure to fill them. This is your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own an entire corner of the most squirrely city in America. Bidding starts at five million.

Dodgy Duke

Dodge Camper.jpgThis campervan will guzzle gas, but it’s well worth the investment when you consider the benefits of having a home without a zip code. You’ll never mow another lawn again! The body graphics scream retro taste, while the steel wheels and basic white paint suggest rugged adventurer. Depending on mileage, tire condition and whether it’ll pass a smog test, this tenement on wheels is probably worth 7k to a discriminating buyer with impeccable parallel parking skills.

Stucco Sam

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Delightfully plain, this Piedmont home is perched on a corner lot and surrounded by trees and stray children. My guess is that it was purchased six years ago for $425K and it’s latest tax evaluation was in the one-and-a-half million range (an absolute steal when you consider the school districts!). The rooms are small, the electrical is outdated and the family that lives there has already set their sites on something bigger and newer just a little further up the hill. After all, there’s no space for two new Audis in a single-car garage.